Ranking the Best Names in College Football

14 of 26

Sep 3, 2015; Orlando, FL, USA; FIU Golden Panthers safety Niko Gonzalez (33) and guard Neal Mars (76) and teammates offer up praises to their king, Milord Juste, after beating the UCF Knights at Bright House Networks Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

13. Milord Juste, Florida International DL

Biographical Information: Freshman defensive lineman from Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. Ranked as Palm Beach County’s 31st-ranked player by the Sun Sentinel on their “Mega Board.” Was Class 8A Second-Team All-State his senior year. Birthday is September 15th, 1996 (happy belated birthday!). Majoring in international business. Son of Asla Juste, brother of Achma and Wana Juste.

Fun Fact from Official Team Bio: Hobbies include “video games, ping pong, and sleeping.”

Why I love the name: I’m a huge fan of this name, as it is clearly a clever ploy by the Juste family to establish the serfdom of anyone directly addressing their son.

“Hi, Milord,” one of his coaches says to him.

“Hello, peasant,” Milord responds.

The coach can say nothing else at this point, as he has already legally acknowledged that Milord Juste is his ruler, and he now owes him 50% of the food he grows on his small farm. Luckily, the last name implies that Milord rules the FIU program not with an iron fist, but rather with fairness and wisdom, so I bet the coach can get on some sort of reasonable crop-payment plan. Thank Milord!

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