Ranking the Best Names in College Football

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Apr 12, 2014; Miami, FL, USA; Miami Hurricanes defensive back Corn Elder (29) makes a catch during a spring game at Sun Life Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

3. Corn Elder, Miami DB

Biographical Information: Junior defensive back from Nashville, Tennessee. Was a 4-star prospect rated as the nation’s number 8 athlete by 247Sports.com and number 7 running back by Rivals.com. No parents’ names listed.

Fun Fact from Official Team Bio: “Experience: High School” is something that his profile says. Okay, makes sense.

Why I love the name: This name probably causes the greatest feelings of calmness and comfort among the names on the list. There’s just something mature and trustworthy about the last name Elder, and Corn brings to mind simpler times, eating corn on the cob at summer barbecues and enjoying the sunshine. It’s likely that his teammates at Miami come to him for sage advice, especially about crops, and Sheldrick probably invites him over for fondue so they can discuss their respective industries.

P.S. Extremely disappointed and surprised that this young man doesn’t hail from Iowa or Indiana. His first name is freaking CORN.

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