Ranking the Best Names in College Football

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Oct 4, 2014; Norfolk, VA, USA; Members of the Old Dominion Monarchs band wait for Satchel Ziffer to kick some balls against the Marshall Thundering Herd at Foreman Field. Mandatory Credit: Peter Casey-USA TODAY Sports

23. Satchel Ziffer, Old Dominion K/P

Biographical Information: Junior kicker/punter from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He played at Pasadena City College before transferring to Old Dominion. Is 6’4″ and 212 lbs, because he is unaware that you don’t need to be big or athletic to kick/punt. Parents’ names are not listed.

Fun Fact from Official Team Bio: Made the Dean’s List in the fall of 2014

Why I love the name: All his friends call him “Not A Man-Purse.” His last name in German means “digit” or “numeral.” His name sounds like a rich tech mogul who explores foreign jungles in his free time. All of these sentences are at least somewhat true, and perfectly describe the junior kicker/punter. This is definitely the best punter name since Tom Tupa, and the best kicker name since Sebastian Janikowski was nicknamed “Seabass.” Here’s to hoping that Satchel will one day kick and punt his way onto an NFL roster, so we can continue to hear this name in football broadcasts for years to come.

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