Notre Dame Football: Zaire VS Kizer Is Like Taco VS Burrito

What does the Notre Dame quarterback battle have to do with tacos and burritos?

I know you’re asking that question right now. You want to know what tacos and burritos and their loyal disciples have to do with Malik Zaire and DeShone Kizer. The answer, which you’ll soon find out, is EVERYTHING.

To dive into this meal, we must first ask ourselves just what is a burrito and just what is a taco? Well- maybe we don’t even go as far as that. How about: what is the difference between a burrito and a taco? There we have it- that’s the question indeed.

The difference between a burrito and a taco is quite simply the container and how that container is used, and in our case it’s the same material but processed in a different way. A burrito takes a large soft tortilla while a taco generally uses a smaller sized tortilla that has been baked or deep-fried. Of course, a taco can also have a soft tortilla (although this is cheating).

What else? Well, tacos are a sloppy mess of love slapped inside of a fragile crevice that, despite looking ugly and inefficient, it generally always gets the job done. Burritos are tightly wrapped logs of heaven that tend to satisfy more deeply for any craving we might have, but they are also time bombs just waiting to explode on the other end if you aren’t careful.

If you are still wondering how any of this relates to the Notre Dame quarterback situation, I hope god grants mercy upon your soul because it’s just too damn obvious.

Malik Zaire represents the “taco.” Zaire is a deliciously sloppy mess stuffed inside a shell that can be a variety of different things and in doing so, he has a strong appeal to the masses.

DeShone Kizer represents the “burrito.” Kizer is a large amount of goodness wrapped up in a tight blanket. He is much more filling in one dose as opposed to a taco, but the possibility of being squeezed too hard could mean an explosion.

(BTW… Brandon Wimbush is probably a chulupa, or a double decker taco, or even a gordita, and even though that may sound great, it is far too early to declare it a staple of the

American diet

Notre Dame backfield.

So which do you prefer? Clearly the poll above shows the edge is given to burrito over taco. That’s great and all, but when asked about Zaire and Kizer, a distinctly different percentage is given:

IT’S LIKE NO ONE EVEN CONSIDERED THIS WHOLE BURRITO VERSUS TACO THING!

Perhaps by now, you already know the combo I prefer. Yes, pencil me in for that Kizer-Burrito combo with a side of pintos and beans and a tall Mountain Dew Code Red (with several splashes of gin). All analogies aside, how do you throw away (or at least put to the side) everything that Kizer has accomplished thus far at Notre Dame, which quite frankly… has been more than Zaire.

Look, I get it. Malik Zaire is an emotional response. Much like ordering tacos on a Tuesday, you get that emotional connection with Zaire. He was everything we had hoped he would be and the opposite of Everett Golson. When Zaire stepped in- he stepped up, and his tragic end to the season last year and the chronicling of it all on Showtime’s “A Season With Notre Dame” made us all fall in love with Zaire, and perhaps you feel a bit of betrayal by wanting something else.

The truth is, is that none of this really matters. Much like tacos and burritos, both Zaire and Kizer are great and I wouldn’t complain about having either- except we get both. You can mark it down now that both with see significant action this fall, and all of this is just nonsense.

Next: Top Irish Quarterbacks in the Modern Era

You’re order is ready, thank-you and come again.