If Notre Dame Players Were Characters From Horror Movies

Happy Halloween, Irish fans! In the spooky spirit of Halloween, I thought I would compare some Notre Dame football players to horror movie characters.

First things first, this article is in no way a means to distract me from Notre Dame’s loss last weekend. So quit asking.

As a true journalist (read: unqualified blogger), I wanted to evaluate this Notre Dame football team in a way that no one has before.

NFL analysts love to come up with player comparisons for draft prospects. So I thought I would compare Notre Dame players to characters in horror movies. ‘Tis the season.

Khalid Kareem (Defensive End)

Character Comparison: Michael Myers, Halloween

As a talented defensive end, Kareem stalks quarterbacks every Saturday. His persistence and the overall ominous feeling he gives opposing offenses are straight out of the Michael Myers playbook.

Kareem also somewhat masks his face with eye black before every game. It keeps the glare of the sun out of his eyes and intimidates his opponents. Michael Myers’ single most identifiable attribute is the mask he wears in the Halloween films.

Chris Finke (Wide Receiver)

Character Comparison: Birds, The Birds

Finke puts out some major bird vibes. Which, I should clarify, is a compliment.

Last season, he celebrated a touchdown against Michigan by walking like a pigeon. The hand signal for the Notre Dame football walk-ons (aka WOPU Nation) looks like it could symbolize wings. Finally, he has a pet bird named Chirpie.

Finke’s bird vibes are definitely more friendly than the birds in the Alfred Hitchcock film, but they are bird vibes nonetheless.

Cole Kmet (Tight End)

Character Comparison: The Monster of Frankenstein, Frankenstein

Though Kmet is similar to the monster in stature, he displays much more athleticism and coordination for his size.

Kmet’s history of quickly recovering from injury also suggests there may be someone on the Notre Dame medical staff who is similar to Dr. Victor Frankenstein. Someone who is repairing his body on a giant metal operating table and reanimating him.

Last season, Kmet suffered a high ankle sprain and played in a game three weeks later. This year, he broke his collarbone in fall camp. He was catching footballs two weeks after that injury and returned to practice four weeks after.

Bo Bauer (Linebacker)

Character Comparison: Werewolf, *Any Werewolf Movie*

You could take one look at Bauer and draw this comparison. He has long hair and one of the best beards on the team. The connection does not stop there, though.

Bauer also like to use the hashtag #BeADog on Twitter as you can see in his bio. Werewolves, while they are fictional creatures, are basically canines. So… maybe Bo is trying to tell us something with that hashtag.